my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
