so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
