how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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