Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
