pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
