Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Did you just see the Batmobile???
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
