I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
