He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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