does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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