mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
