Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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