dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
