How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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