I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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