the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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