We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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