Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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