she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
