So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
