I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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