Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
