I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
