Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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