What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
