I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
