TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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