No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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