Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
