A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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