girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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