last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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