Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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