Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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