i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
