that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
