i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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