You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
