i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Randomize
