I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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