Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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