Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
