guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
