So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
