I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
