Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
