awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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