she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
