guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
