i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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