i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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