i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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