I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
