Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
