omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
