You can't special order awesome
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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